Nextdoor Cancels 'All Lives Matter to God,' Michigan Election Audit Update, and a 17th-Hole Dog Murder

(AP Photo/David Goldman)

Today’s cocktail is a slight twist on a classic. I call it “Sweet Old-Fashioned Piggy.”

-Whistle Pig 6-year-old rye

-1 ounce (or a bit less) Barsmith Old Fashioned

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-1 Traverse City Whiskey Co. cherry

-Dash of bitters

-Orange peel

WHAT’S HAPPENING

If you read “Day Drinking” you’ll recall Michigan attorney Matthew Deperno found 66,194 unregistered ballots in nine Michigan counties. He recently also found 1,061 “phantom votes” in Antrim County, Mich., the county that was first reportedly won by Biden but later analysis showed was won by Trump. Phantom votes? A December recount in Antrim County found 15,962 ballots but only 14,901 votes, which Deperno believes gives him standing for an audit of Antrim County’s election results. Trump even mentioned it via his Telegram account:

The major Michigan Election Fraud case has just filed a bombshell pleading claiming votes were intentionally switched from President Trump to Joe Biden,” he said in a statement shared by his Save America PAC. “The number of votes is MASSIVE and determinative. This will prove true in numerous other States. All Republicans must UNIFY and not let this happen. If a thief robs a jewelry store of all of its diamonds (the 2020 Presidential Election), the diamonds must be returned. The Fake News media refuses to cover the greatest Election Fraud in the history of our Country. They have lost all credibility, but ultimately, they will have no choice!

Frightened Michigan Democrats, including Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, are fighting Deperno in court to squash the audit. Republican Judge Kevin Elsenheimer, who hasn’t been all that supportive of Deperno and called this a “fishing expedition,” will decide by next week if Deperno can have his audit. Weird how Democrats are fighting against audits in swing states, right?!?!

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Good Dog, Bad Story

If you live in Puerto Rico, do NOT teach your dog to fetch. Former Long Island jabroni and current Puerto Rico resident Salil Zaveri, shot a dog near the 17th hole after it retrieved his golf ball and tried to get into the cart and go for a ride. He reportedly capped man’s best friend twice, launched his drive to the 18th hole, and gave the pup a coup de gras, ya know, to show mercy.

“I took the first shot when the dog was less than 10 feet away and the dog rolled over but may have died slowly so I got out of the cart and took two more shots out of mercy,” Zaveri said. The doggie hitman was arrested at the 18th hole. He is the CEO of Zaveri Consulting, in case you want to boycott the Butcher of Beggin’ Strips.

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Has Biden denounced the rockets fired by Gaza militants into Israel yet? Asking for an ally.

Calvert County, Md.: A billboard showing Biden and Harris covered in cartoon dooty states, “Don’t blame  Trump. You are stuck with these two s***heads!!!  From All Your Deplorables in Calvert County.”  Jeanette Flaim, leader of the Democratic Central Committee finds it “vulgar.” She explained: “Kids are going to school, and they’re going by it every day, and parents are driving their kids. We just don’t think kids should have to see that or parents should have to explain that.” Too bad, says Buddy Hance, president of the Board of County Commissioners. “You know this country was built on the foundation of free speech, and sometimes we like what that free speech says and sometimes we don’t.” Looks like the sign will stay for now.

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If you wore a t-shirt 10 years ago that said “All Lives Matter,” you would have been considered woke AF. Today it gets you labeled a racist and canceled. Gary Brown of Edmond, Okla., was booted off of the Nextdoor app for daring to embrace diversity by posting that “All lives matter to God” and quoting some scripture. Nextdoor finds this racist and Mr. Brown was suspended from the app for two weeks so he can go to his room and think about his inclusivity and love for all people. Nextdoor is ok with “black lives matter,” but don’t you dare mention ALL or BLUE lives. NONE of the lives of the Nextdoor hierarchy appear to be black.

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WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED

Don’t shoot dogs for being dogs, don’t question the election, and equality among Americans may have been MLK’s dream but today it will get you canceled by woke white people.

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